Tag Archives: Self-improvement

How To Be A Crunchy Gym Rat

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Okay, so it’s no secret that I adore the YMCA. I like to lift weights, need a place to run when there isn’t daylight or heat during my slotted running hours, and I have designs on taking a yoga class one of these days with a friend of mine.

I also take my children there for gymnastics, rock climbing lessons and swimming classes. In the past, we have also participated in Kid Fit, tae kwan do, dance lessons and water polo during other sessions at the Y.

In fact, since we began homeschooling, the YMCA has been a steady and important part of our weekly pattern.

This past summer, I went to a whole new level of crunchy. I started using beauty and hygiene products with the lowest possible ratings from the Environmental Working Group’s data base. This was similar to the transition we made away from convenience foods in the past. It seems crazy and impossible at first; it sounded suspiciously like everything was going to be more difficult and take more time. As it turned out, none of that is true, it simply took some adjusting. Here are some ways I have combined these two parts of my life:

I still wash my hair with baking soda and condition with a white vinegar rinse. I take the baking soda in a ziplock bag. When I get out of the pool (oh yeah – I’m taking swimming lessons now too. And wow it is going to take a long time to make a swimmer out of me, but hopefully my knees will thank me eventually.) I hop in the shower with my baggie and dribble just a bit of water into it. I use the paste to rub on my face like a mask – it has been amazing in terms of minimizing my pores and reducing my acne. Then I fill the bag half full of water. I seal it and shake it up, then pour over and scrub my hair. I bring the vinegar in an old, empty shampoo bottle which allows a great deal of control over how much I’m squirting over my head at one time.

I bring my ZUM goats-milk soap in a little old tupperware.

All the chlorine is doing new and interesting things with my skin, so I have found a lotion we like (Hugo Naturals) and slather it on before dressing.

I would love to experiment with using oils for moisturizer – does anyone hanging around here reading this have experience in this department? Angela? Delena? Maureen?

Crunchy gym rats also like a good breakfast, so I’ve been taking a banana along to eat on the way there. When I get home I have a little bowl of oatmeal made with coconut milk, which really powers me through a morning of homeschool.

Are you exercising right now? What great routines do you use to combine practical beauty and staying fit?

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Homeschool Progress Reports

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We are always trying something new. A recent success at our house: Take a day off from lessons to evaluate how things are going.

We called it student-teacher conferences.

It was a beautiful autumn day. Everyone played outside as one child at a time came in to the kitchen table for a special snack and some one-on-one time. We talked about the first ten weeks of our school year, with special emphasis on: “What are we doing in school that you love most?” and the predictable “What do you like the least, and why.”

It was a revealing and helpful set of meetings. Like parent/teacher conferences from days of old (when we were in regular school), it was a great overview of the trenches from those actually shoveling in them. It was wonderful to see how empowered the kids felt in discussing their schooling. We went a single subject at a time, talking about what they enjoy and where/how they felt they are learning the most. When we arrived at the “what is sucking” portion of the meeting, we made suggestions and brainstormed ideas for changes. We made plans for implementing those we liked best.

I wrote down everything they said.

To wrap the conference up, we went back over the notes I had made and listed our new plan of any changes we wanted to make.

This was a great way to introduce some concerns I have been having (you haven’t been practicing typing/your spelling is atrocious/I think this math is too hard for you) and helped invest the children in the changes we are making to our routine for the next quarter of the school year. An added bonus was the renewed excitement with which everyone approached the new week following our conferences.

Have you done any recent evaluations of things around your ponderosa? If so, how did it go?

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You know how I love a great deal…

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So I couldn’t pass up this offer. And it is so incredible, I felt the need to share.

I started reading Renee’s blog over at FIMBY after discovering some of her writing on Simple Homeschool. Her ebook is one of 35 being offered as a package deal during this special promotion. All the books are designed to help you simplify your life.

S. O. L. D.

Let me know if you also purchase the books, and if so, which ones you particularly enjoy or find a great help to your family life.

The sale only runs through Friday morning, sorry for the late notice!

Beloved Clutter

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So I have been trying to do more Flylady decluttering this past month. I can now get into AND find things in kitchen cabinets we used to be afraid to open.

I’ve had a few epiphanies while decluttering. First of all – if you are going to keep your house clean, decluttering is NEVER going to end. Ever. The kitchen cabinets, for instance? I had decluttered those just this past spring. But then I left them alone.

This is dangerous if you are a stuffer – and I am a stuffer, people. This means if there is something that doesn’t have a place and there is a storage area nearby (this could be a drawer, cupboard, closet, cabinet or shelf) that is not full beyond it’s capacity…the item will be finding its home there.

So people who are stuffers must also be continuous declutterers. (I know. Not a word.)

Another shocking realization – you actually have to apply ALL of flylady’s rules or else you are not decluttering. If you are only decluttering things that you do not use and keeping things you sometimes use but dislike or have bad associations with (I have to keep this, it was a gift) then you still have clutter. If you are only decluttering the things that are taking up bad emotional space and things you don’t like but keeping things you don’t ever use – well, you have to REALLY love it if you are going to allow it space in your house.

For instance – I will be keeping my wedding dress. Forever. My mother sewed it with her own two hands and my grandmother embellished it with beautiful fabric roses she made from satin ribbon of my color choices. I don’t use it or need it, but I will never part with it (unless someone in my family wants to borrow it or a piece of it for another once-in-a-lifetime occasion – I’m thinking baptism, communion, wedding).

This piece of clothing, however, is a different story:

I cannot tell you how much I loved this shirt. It was 1995, my first year in college, and I unwrapped this gift from my family when I was home for Christmas. It was SO COOL. Did I mention it was 1995? Seattle grunge had come to Kansas, and I had pierced my belly button (to my mother’s horror). So I wore this flannel (thermal lining – oh yeah) with a half-shirt under it for nights out, or a T-shirt under it for classes. I wore it all that winter, all that spring, and all the next fall.

I felt SO AWESOME in that shirt.

I started dating my future husband that next winter. I spent lots of time in that shirt sitting next to him at Village Inn, studying and making plans.

It has moved with me six times.

But I have not worn it since the third time I moved.

In fact, I’m not sure I’ve worn it since I gave birth. And Shooter will be eleven in April.

So, even though I loved that shirt, I let it go. In fact, I realized that I loved that time in my life much more than I loved that shirt – and saying goodbye to the flannel that represented that time was long since overdue.

I am not nineteen anymore. Though I am essentially the same person, I am (thank heavens) older, wiser and better.

And besides, I would look ridiculous in that shirt now. But maybe it will come back around in a few years and someone else who is young and fabulous will find it on the rack at Goodwill.

Decluttering only works when you go all the way. And I must say – it feels so good to let go of things that represent who you were, but not who you are.

New Year, Old Habits

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Every year when the holiday visitors have packed up and gone, I can’t wait to get back to business. For me, that means lots of things, but I seem to focus on the fact that my family has been eating nothing but salted meats and white flour (shudder), and that we seem to receive enough gifts over Christmas to fill our entire (already full) house.

So I tend to ring in the new year trying to climb back on the same two bandwagons: healthy eating and keeping my house. These two things enable me to feel good physically and emotionally, and to devote my time to the things that truly matter (my husband, my kids, our school and farm).

I’m thinking a lot about food. Something I’m trying to do is incorporate more interesting meatless dishes and a bigger variety of grains and legumes. I made baked beans from scratch earlier this week. With them we ate homemade pita bread and apples. Well, I’m the only one who at the beans. Each child took one bite and politely filled up on pita.

The beans were a miserable failure, but my daughter was very impressed by my apple-flower.

For lunch today, I made ‘johnny cakes.’ These were a hit. Here is my recipe:

1 cup polenta or corn grits (you can use cornmeal too)
*I used a few tablespoons of flax seed meal in place of a bit of the grits
1 tsp salt
1 tsp honey
1 TBSP butter
3/4 cup boiling water (about half of mine was out-of-date kefir)

Soak all these together for a few minutes, then drop by heaping teaspoon full into warm olive oil (notice that I said warm, not hot). Cook for a few minutes, then flip. Make them as crispy as you like. I have some who prefer super-crispy and some who like it super-soft, so I do a few of each (I vote crispy). We had cheese and fruit salad with the cakes.

There were two left, but before I could take the picture, I ate another one.

Something I would really like to work hard on this year is vegetables. I’ve been running my food processor and adding vegetables to more dishes than my daughter could ever imagine (don’t tell her, she will have nightmares), but I would love some ideas. How do you like to eat and prepare your vegetables?

As you can see, I’m doing some foreshadowing with this post as well, so expect a housekeeping post soon. Oooooooo, I’m being all literary and stuff.

Keeping house is so much more.

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Thanks for the comments and tips yesterday.  I really do have fabulous readers who, I must say, I dearly love.  I was struck with something this morning as I read them – I am pretty serious about maintaining a healthy lifestyle for my body. What about my house?

 

For example:  Yesterday I took the children to the waterpark, where I applied sunscreen vigorously.  I had a banana and green tea for a snack.  Then I ran two miles and ate my dinner (whole grain noodles with bell pepper, onion, cucumber, garlic and olive oil).  I drank lots of water.  I took a warm shower.  I slept for eight hours (minus one child needing a drink of water at 2 am) and then for breakfast I made a smoothie with peach, mango, strawberry, pineapple, blueberry, rhubarb, spinach, banana, flax seed, and almond milk.  These are all things I didn’t think much about – I just keep the tools nearby and plan ahead to make sure they happen.  How can I do that with the other important thing in my life?

 

What healthy habits do I have for my house, my other job (the farm bookwork), my writing?  As I look back over my adult life, I can see the good habits that have formed in these areas.  And my sister-in-law is SO on the money when she said that a crisis really helps put things in order.  It’s time to capitalize on a crisis and use it to set some more good habits in my life.  We can grow and change every day!

 

And how about my children?  What healthy habits do I need to put in place with them?  How about more effort to complimenting good behavior instead of only focusing on correcting less desirable behavior?  How about focused, connected alone time with each child?  Too many days pass where I’m cocentrating wholly on all my other responsibilities and time is lost that can never be bought back to build a lifetime relationship with these amazing people.

 

How about no yelling.  Period.

 

What healthy  habits can I form in regard to maintaining the most important relationship in my daily life: my marriage?  What are the poor habits I can let go of that don’t show love?  What are life-giving habits I can cultivate that are love in action?

 

I know it’s easy to set yourself up for failure when you want to take on more than you can handle, but I remember my post about priorities and I still feel that way.  The more order I put in my life, the more organized I become, I find it is easier to be able to follow those priorities.  I am not expecting this all to work right away, and I’m not thinking I can reduce what is in my house by 50% in a week.  But I think I could do it in a year.

 

If there is one thing this journey with my husband’s mother has taught me, it’s the weight of a moment.  Each situation is an opportunity.  She has been absolutely incredible – pragmatic, calm, and full of strength.  My sister told me that she hopes to be half as amazing as my mother-in-law if she ever faces a similar situation.  I agree.

 

And I know it seems, well, insulting to talk about keeping house when really we are talking about the courage to face cancer for a second time.  But I think my mother-in-law would disagree.  What we are talking about is life.  Managing life.  Meeting responsibilities and learning each day new ways to create time and space for others.

 

What new habits are working for you right now?  What have you done for your body, your loved ones, or your house that make you feel full of love and satisfied?

What follows us

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I’ve been chewing on this post for awhile, finding a way to express what it feels like as a parent to watch your children make memories you know they will keep forever.

This weekend we went as a family to check the cattle.  At our first stop, when My Farmer turned over the mineral feeder (which lays on the ground inside an old tire), we discovered a family of field mice.  The children spent slow, endless minutes in adoration of their giant eyes& sleek brown fur, the way the baby’s heads were as big as the rest of their body, the way those who were nursing held on even as the mother tried to find an escape from her human ogglers.

We explored a pasture I’ve never been to the back of, and at the farthest corner is a low place where a spring runs into a clear creek.  You should have seen the kids’ faces when My Farmer suggested they take off their shoes and socks, roll up their jeans and wade out into the water.  Cowgirl was in the fastest, and they all spent the next 30 minutes giggling at the cold water on their toes, gasping at the slippery feeling of the moss on the rocks, following the countless dragonflies up and down the stretch, asking “What’s this?” a hundered times.

They even stayed in the water to eat their picnic supper.  They all wandered to find a good rock to sit on, but in the end chose the same one and made room for each other.

I know they won’t remember the same moments as I will.  I can still see Cowgirl’s face, after her hat blew off riding in the back of the ATV, when Farmer Boy put his hand on it to keep it where it belonged.  All I could hear was the song “Then your heart is full of love” from Mr. Roger’s.

I will always remember Shooter, nine and trying so hard to leave childhood behind, sometimes giving us glimpses of the angst and awkwardness yet to come, sitting on the rock with his siblings and telling them “I love nature.”  Then he handed me the last 1/3 of his sandwich with a whispered “Sorry I didn’t eat more of it, Mom, but I don’t really care for that meat.”

A great cookie recipe

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I’ve been inspired to renew my commitment to healthier eating after reading my friend’s blog bread with honey.  I wanted to make a treat of some sort yesterday when I opened a new jar of our favorite peanut butter, and I found this:

 

Peanut Butter Cookies made with no sugar or animal fat.

 

The reviews are in and it’s thumbs up around the table here.  I cooked the first sheet a bit too long, so the texture was chalky.  The second set has a moister, more pleasing cookie-like softness without the dryness.  I’m also considering using applesauce in place of some of the maple syrup and oil next time (great suggestion from my mother-in-law).  Oh – and I used creamy peanut butter instead of chunky and that seemed to work out just fine.  Also I baked these at 325 in my convection oven instead of 350 – but I reduce the temperature on almost every recipe I bake so go with whatever your  oven usually does for you.

 

Keep in mind that you need to use REAL maple syrup.   If you’ve been buying imitation syrup (on the label it will say something like “with the taste of real maple syrup” and on the back it will list high-fructose corn syrup as the #1 ingredient) you are in for sticker shock.  As with most things that are not bad for you, it costs more because it is not made of a by-product or sustained by chemical preservatives and therefore requires a completely different (and usually more labor-intensive) method to bring it to your table.  This, in turn, means it costs more for you, the consumer, in monetary terms.

 

I like to think of it this way:  It is usually true that you get what you pay for.  I have found this to cross over to most aspects of life.  Whether you are paying in time, elbow grease, sweat, practice or dollars, the more you put in the better the results tend to be.  This often makes something you want to buy worth waiting and saving for in order to invest in something that will last.  The same is true with food – the more expensive foods will reap the greatest benefit and do the most for you.  Also, they usually taste much better once you get used to eating actual food instead of nutritionally-fortified boxed items.

 

You can buy pasta that is incredibly inexpensive, and it will keep you from starving.  However, your body will suffer from the poor nutrition, lack of fiber, and energy expended digesting something with so little return.  You can also buy really healthy pasta (our favorite is this kind) but it is going to cost a lot more because it has *real food* as the ingredients.  I could probably make extremely healthy pasta and it would be moan-worthy, but only after a lot of practice and time.  So I’m going with the box version for now and that is close enough.

 

Fruits and vegetables are another great example.  It is unarguable that a diet high in vegetables and fruits is the healthiest, and the more you consume raw, the better.  It’s like breastfeeding – indisputable fact that it is what a body needs and performs best with.  You can buy canned fruits and vegetables, and yes they are still nutritious though many of them have added salt or preservatives you probably want to avoid.  Frozen is a bit more expensive, but frozen vegetables retain more of their nutrients than canned vegetables do.  But the best for you?  Of course fresh vegetables are healthiest, and eating them raw is the best way to get every good thing you can from them.  So as you would guess, fresh vegetables not only cost the most, but if you are cooking them require a different level of involvement to prepare.  But it’s worth it.

 

I have also found that, since I began working to change how we were eating (around nine years ago) I have come around to the understanding that it may *seem* like a lot more work to make peanut butter cookies from scratch with all-natural ingredients – but actually it is not. It’s just a different way of doing things, and the more practice I have had with making meals from “whole” foods, the easier and simpler it has become.  Not to beat a dead horse, but once again it is like breastfeeding.  Our culture has a strange idea that bottle-feeding an infant is easier than breastfeeding.  In actual fact, nothing could be further from the truth – artificially feeding a baby is SO much more work, between purchasing and mixing the formula, washing and sterilizing all the equipment, not to mention the cost of all that formula and equipment!  I was fortunate that I saw other mothers breastfeeding, so I had an idea of how it would work for me.  Sit down (or sling up) and the only effort required on my part was lowering the flap on my nursing tank.  It required an investment of practice and frustration instead of dollars, but the payoff was astronomical.  (BTW kudos to all those mothers who pumped and bottle-fed.  It is all the work of formula-feeding, but with the medical benefits of breastfeeding.)

 

Feeding my family with simple recipes made from a variety of foods in as close to their natural state as possible – that’s my mantra and I’m sticking to it.  I hope your family enjoys these cookies as much as mine have!

What am I doing wrong?

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I grew up in a very peaceful home.  I don’t seem to be providing the same sort of environment somehow at my own house.

 

My children are very good friends, and 90% of the time they play together happily and work out their own difficulties.

 

The problem is the ten percent of time when they do not.  Take yesterday for example.  By the time I got to the room I heard the yelling from (From the time the hollering began until the time I arrived was probably close to 15 seconds) this is what I found:

 

Two crying, injured boys (sibling-inflicted) and smashed Easter egg all over the floor.

 

The worst part was, all I could come up with to say was “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!  YOU ARE HURTING EACH OTHER OVER AN EGG SHELL!!!!”

 

I stopped when I saw my daughter, cowering in the kitchen chair surrounded by the yelling, hands over her ears, eyes wide and on the ground.

 

As I was holding her, saying “you poor thing, that must have been so hard to watch” she started talking about how she asked who had colored a certain egg, which had started a yelling match between the boys, followed by kicking and tackling.  Yelling continued in the background, as I tried to comfort one and quiet the others.  It was an unmitigated disaster.

 

I am not sure how I failed so miserably in this particular area with my children, but please let’s be clear here:  I am not blogging this to publicly flog myself.  I am trying to solve it.  I am a person of quick and hard temper, and I need a way to help myself and especially to give my sons the tools to control their impulses once they are angry.  The comments have been quiet around here lately, but I really need some help on this one.  I am feeling pretty lost.  I am a very intentional parent and I want to evaluate and change the way I am mothering to break up this pattern, but I need the “wisdom of the group” right now.

The power of principle

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I’ve had a pretty packed last six months or year.  There have been many changes and different challenges.  There has been a lot on my plate, and even more on my husband’s.

 

At times, this year has put me in a place that has become completely overwhelming.  Too many things that need to be done all at one time.  For lots of people, it works to give a few things up in order to make life less complicated.  In some ways, I have done that.  But mostly I gave things up that I was already not doing (or at least not doing properly).  I resigned a volunteer job I’ve worked at for the last eight years, and though I’m really sad about it and loved (very much!) the organization and the work, I wasn’t. actually. doing. anything.  I was asked to be on a committee at the Parish to help with a process we are involved in.  I helped for the first stages of the committee’s work, but since spring hit I’ve missed everything and in two weeks the job is over.  Mostly I’ve given up things like keeping the house, van, or yard very nicely.

 

Then, I started Flying again.  And I came to terms with the fact that I am really not happy unless I am UP TO HERE in activity.  I’ve been that way since I was able to choose my own extracurricular stuff.  I really like it.  But I need to find balance.  Flylady has helped me stay more organized at home so I can be more efficient with my time, and though housework is the first thing I tend to let slide, it is the first thing that makes me grumpy and unfit-to-live-with.

 

Then, a couple of weeks ago, my BFF mentioned feeling like things were out of control in her world so she put a list of her priorities on the refrigerator.

 

KABLAMO!

 

Blew my mind.  It really helped me to figure out what I’m doing with trying to get things re-balanced.  This was one of the main reasons I began looking for an “all-in-one” curriculum that will require as little planning/legwork on my part as possible.  Money and control were less important to me than making school a pleasant and stream-lined activity that we can do well at home and still have plenty of time and energy for all the other things we want to and (I) have to do.

 

What I feed my family is very important to me.  I try to make different meals with as large a variety of foods in as close to their natural state as possible.  I’m going to allow myself to keep this as important and make time to cook meals from scratch and buy the expensive fresh produce without guilt.  This is one of my priorities.  And because I allow this to be a focus, I’m not going to worry about it when we ‘fall off the wagon’ for a time period or with a specific product that makes things much easier for us when things are especially busy.

 

Helping with the farm is very important to me.  I am going to work to streamline my other responsibilities (see curriculum comments above) in order to devote enough time (see remarks about giving things up) to stay involved and be dependable.  It brings My Farmer and I so much joy to work together, whether it is in the office or in the field.  It was always part of our vision and work is one way we both show our love and find personal reward.

 

Being a kind and fully-present parent is important to me.  I will apologize when I am not doing so.  I will continue to pray an act of contrition each night, and a self-offering prayer each morning.  This is a practice I began with Lent and it has helped me so much – I take time to think about my errors and forgive myself each night, then start fresh every morning with my priorities in mind.  I will work to stay organized so that I can be more focused and less pressured in my daily life.  (For my non- or less-religious readers, obviously this can be done without the praying part.  The forgiving and offering parts are the critical ones to include if you want to give it a try.)

 

God is important to me, and being a part of the community of Church.  This is one area in my life where I feel satisfied with the way things are working – probably because everything is easier when it takes the approach of “community.”  I don’t need to do it all – there are lots of us!  I just need to do what I can with the gifts that I have.  I will continue helping where I can, taking my children to weekly and holy day Masses, and incorporate faith into our regular, daily routines.

 

Exercise is important to me.  It keeps me healthy, and most importantly it keeps me sane.  I will give up other activities (like sleep) and bend my other priorities (for instance taking my children to the gym’s childcare area while I run or work-out) so that I can participate in this.  I will seek out opportunities to do so and not feel guilty about time away from my family so that I can take good care of my own body and mind.

 

Staying organized is important to me so I can accomplish all of these priorities.  I know this is just the tip of the iceburg as far as what is important – I don’t have anything in here about friends or extended family or time with my spouse (which are all critical priorities for me as well) but there’s only so much I can write before you all are going to get bored (you are already? Sorry – almost finished – just give me a few more minutes).  And these are the biggies that are currently front-and-center for me.  Any tips or suggestions would be most welcome – What do you keep on hand in the pantry for quick, healthy meals?  How do you maintain an uncluttered house?  How do you fit in a big project?  When do you make time for yourself?  Do you have a system for keeping lists, files, or items that would help me?

 

C’mon, people!  I know you are full of ideas so let’s share!