Today really sucked. And I don’t mean the day itself sucked, I mean I really sucked today. Important clarification. Not all the time, not at everything, but at enough big things. I hit these points every once in a while, when the pressures in my life are too many and I am not meeting my expectations or the expectations of those around me. I have been making a mental list, and rather than continue to stew on it alone and worry about how I will make an appropriate re-entrance into the blogging world, I’m sharing this.
I began this list by wondering to myself what on earth (useful) am I good at. Here are a list of things I am good at. I put the useful ones at the bottom of the list.
1. Making excuses.
2. Rationalizing. Anything.
3. Saving hundreds of dollars over months of time by bargain hunting small items.
4. Spending hundreds of dollars in careless moments (see #1 below).
5. Carrying lots of things at one time.
6. Breaking things (see #5 above).
7. Running fast.
8. Running into things (speed here is not important).
10. Painting fingernails.
7. Walking on the knuckles of my toes (my cousin, Laura, tells me this makes her remember the creepy Mr. Tumnus from the cartoon version of the Lion, Witch and Wardrobe from 1979 – which is not useful).
8. Being billigerent, know-it-all, and over-confident.
9. Visiting with strangers.
11. Realizing 10 seconds too late that I’m being a giant ass.
12. Apologizing and meaning it.
14. Telling people why they are awesome. And meaning it. And they know it.
Things I am not good at:
1. Backing up a vehicle while distracted for any reason (see #4 above).
3. Ironing. Oh, wait, I’m not really bad at that I just hate it.
3 do-over. Keeping things strait in drawers or closets or any enclosed space.
4. Keeping my house clean.
5. Decorating. Anything.
6. Keeping things alive – gardens, houseplants, anything growing in my yard, captive fish. Well, except for mold. I can grow that in the fridge in a sealed container FOR-E-VAH.
7. Taking care of things so they last (carpet, woodwork, vehicles – again see #1 on this list and #4 on the previous list).
Wow. I’m sure hoping I break my streak on those last two with the kids I’m supposed to be caring for.
8. Being sympathetic. Especially if it’s a physical pain. I’m better at helping people with emotional wounds. I mean, if you run into the door because you were looking the other way while you were walking and bloody your nose, I will help you but I will be laughing at you while I’m helping.
9. Removing my foot from my mouth (see #11 on things I am good at).
10. Keeping a good habit.
11. Breaking a bad habit for good.
12. Finishing a project.
13. Admitting when I suck.
14. Quitting anything addictive.
Hopefully this makes you laugh – I do feel better after putting some humor into my situation. I just can’t help but feeling like sometimes, when the cards are down, I just can’t keep the poker face on long enough. When will I be grown-up enough to handle my life? If you are thinking that never really happens then please keep that tidbit to yourself for now. I always feel juvenile when I’m crumbling under pressure. But you know my motto – tomorrow will be better.
I hope so! I’m bad about falling but generally pretty good with recovery.