My mother-in-law was finally released from the hospital last week.
We are SO GLAD to have her home.
And yet, what seemed like it would be a sure-fire pick-me-up for everyone has, in some ways, been fraught with unforeseen difficulties. While having her home, with her own things, in her own place, with her own comfortable bed/chair/clothing has been a warm relief, there is also the stark reminder of how serious her condition is when all the furniture is moved to make room for the walker, when she needs help to get in and out of that bed or chair. The current loss of independence she is suffering is a shock in and of itself – regardless of the fact that we all knew beforehand. It’s still different to see it. Our prayer is for this to be temporary.
And she is continuing to undergo chemotherapy treatments, while working to build her strength again in hopes of regaining some of the way life was before the hospital stay.
My father-in-law, who has always been the provider and never the caregiver, is my hero. His devotion is so nakedly clear it’s painful and beautiful to see.
Yesterday, a wonderful home health company was involved for the first full day. They are providing skilled nursing care along with home health aides. It was the first day in a very long time that I wasn’t somehow directly involved with our family’s situation. We did the entire day’s worth of school, I cooked TWO hot meals for my family, we ate on actual dishes instead of paper plates, I did all the bookwork, made it to all the lessons, folded and put away all the laundry.
And I feel SO guilty.
I even went running this morning.
And all I can think, as thankful as I am to have things kind of back to “normal” (whatever that means), is that everything at my neighbor/business partner/friend/in-law’s house is completely different, and they are trying to adjust to a new normal. Who says I deserve to have normal?
And I also realize this is unreasonable of me to feel. But I still do.
Glad to be back sharing my whining/pining/wheel spinning/frothing thoughts with you again, my friends.
Coming soon: Pictures of the first day of school, an outline of our approach to religion in our homeschool, and some funny stories. I’ve still been contributing over at Growing Your Homeschool every couple of weeks, and have a piece there today, so please feel free to show some love over there as well!