It is usually sometime in July that you can be sure your school-aged children have completely exorcised the civilization and schedule of the other three seasons. They are like calves who have been hand-fed, who are gentle and responsive, until they’ve gone out to pasture and experienced the far-reaching openness, the lush and expansive grasses, the coyotes and flies. By autumn they have grown into wild, confident, wary beasts. Here are some signs my children have been showing of becoming wild beasts:
When they wake in the morning, they immediately do one of the following things:
Turn on the television without even thinking to ask
Head out the door – still in their pajamas
Put on their bathing suit
Some physical signs that my children are savage:
Tan lines (I swear I sunscreen them…when I can catch them)
Hair that has been in the pool, dried on its own, washed before bed, slept on, and still hasn’t been combed as we head back for more swimming.
Energy expended depends on the placement of the sun in the sky and the resultant temperature
Other random signs that my three children are good candidates for cro-magnon studies:
Unlikely to respond to calls sent outside in thier general direction unless they are hungry and the inside of the house smells like food
Foraging behavior – for example, one day last week Farmer Boy never ate an actual meal, but grazed on an entire loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread.
Territorial conflicts are common and generally settled with war-like behavior.
I suggest there is a simple way to test whether or not your brood has gone summer-feral. What were they wearing when they got up yesterday morning? Ok, now…were they wearing the same thing when they went to bed? Also ask yourself…how long has it been since they bathed? I mean full-on, whole-body bathing that includes dressing, combing and primping afterwards?
What other signs of summer wildness have appeared around your home?
Running around in underwear, boys sleeping in a heap on the floor beside the bed, cicada shells found stuck in random places.
Which reminds me, I should also mention the various jars of bugs I find randomly placed throughout the house. Grasshopper on the table in a salsa jar? Perfectly normal in July. And the hammer and nail on the kitchen counter? Of course, that’s just left over from making the airholes for said grasshopper.
chigger bites covering body/calamine lotion (eastern KS), throwing “stickers” at siblings (southern and western KS), leaving the house shortly after waking and not coming home until dark (hey, I grew up in Great Bend in the 70s, not as many whackos back then), falling out of trees and not telling mom what you were doing, expansion of territory by going further from home w/o permission, trying to figure out how to light unused fireworks, making forts w/o using furniture cushions or bed sheets…
We’ve experienced lots of naked booties around here. I love ‘summer-feral’ Am totally tweeting this post.
I’m with you on the “how long has it been since they bathed?” Sometimes I just go with it. Sometimes the pool = bath.
OK, I confess. Sometimes is really frequently
Expansion of territory – Kyle I love that!
You tweeted my post! *gasp* Christine, I totally love you even more.
Chlorine kills germs.
Plus he smells like the sunshine! Mmmmmm
I live in a neighborhood that has full of kids. I have a kid who has lots friends and they prefer to play in our home. I am used to having them around and I like the way they make the house more lively. They are everywhere, I am lucky if they just want to play with their toys but there are times that they would go berserk and would run around the house shouting. Good thing I made it clear to my kid that he has to take a bath at 5pm, everyday. Before, I would always remind him.