I grew up in a very peaceful home. I don’t seem to be providing the same sort of environment somehow at my own house.
My children are very good friends, and 90% of the time they play together happily and work out their own difficulties.
The problem is the ten percent of time when they do not. Take yesterday for example. By the time I got to the room I heard the yelling from (From the time the hollering began until the time I arrived was probably close to 15 seconds) this is what I found:
Two crying, injured boys (sibling-inflicted) and smashed Easter egg all over the floor.
The worst part was, all I could come up with to say was “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU ARE HURTING EACH OTHER OVER AN EGG SHELL!!!!”
I stopped when I saw my daughter, cowering in the kitchen chair surrounded by the yelling, hands over her ears, eyes wide and on the ground.
As I was holding her, saying “you poor thing, that must have been so hard to watch” she started talking about how she asked who had colored a certain egg, which had started a yelling match between the boys, followed by kicking and tackling. Yelling continued in the background, as I tried to comfort one and quiet the others. It was an unmitigated disaster.
I am not sure how I failed so miserably in this particular area with my children, but please let’s be clear here: I am not blogging this to publicly flog myself. I am trying to solve it. I am a person of quick and hard temper, and I need a way to help myself and especially to give my sons the tools to control their impulses once they are angry. The comments have been quiet around here lately, but I really need some help on this one. I am feeling pretty lost. I am a very intentional parent and I want to evaluate and change the way I am mothering to break up this pattern, but I need the “wisdom of the group” right now.